Rufus : Far Enough
by Christine-Calvary
Summary: Inside the mind of Rufus Shinra in the minutes before his death.


I smoked hashish yesterday, and I do believe I'm still feeling the effects. Diamond Weapon is lumbering – slowly, but believe me, it is getting nearer – towards Midgar, my Metropolis, and all I can do is sit here and wonder idly what the capital of the world will look like after a toasting.

That's the last time I go anywhere with Reno. I've no idea how he has audacity to even claim to be a decent bodyguard, the amount of time he spends intoxicated. Ever since Tseng went missing, I've not felt safe. Not even here, in my office, where I can see all of my city and much of my realm. Although, of course, that probably has something to do with that blasted Weapon blundering about in the ocean, red demon eyes set firmly, it seems, on me.

There is also the small matter of the giant rock in the sky, hurtling towards us all. I don't think I'll even be protected in the Junon Underwater Reactor – not from Meteor. Armageddon is coming, and all I can do is sit here and wait for it.

AVALANCHE are waiting for Diamond Weapon on the shore. I can pick out Strife, with that intimidating sword, if I use the 'scopes. He keeps pacing around his group of unusual terrorists and slamming his right fist into the palm of his left hand. I've always known he was a lunatic. What in the name of the Planet does he think he can do against that thing? He's finally going to die, I'm certain of it. My only regret is that Valentine is down there, too, and will also surely die. More monster than man; I could have used him.

Scarlet's voice crackles over the intercom and informs me that the Sister Ray will take another hour, at least, to load. Well, that's nice. I do realise we'll probably only get one shot. I should be more concerned than this, because Diamond Weapon could bring the plate down. It could reduce my pride, my home, to rubble. But I feel paralysed.

I'm too young, that's what it is. The entire world's population expects me to save them, and I really don't think I can do it. I may be intelligent, and insanely powerful, and yes, I look very dashing in a white trenchcoat... but that's about it, to be honest. I have cried. I have bled. All those stories are just that, stories. It's true that I have been showered with Mako, but seriously, Strife would have killed me in our little tussle if I'd not fled my own Headquarters in a helicopter.

Damn Strife! It's annoying that he even thinks he stands a chance against Weapon. Why he can't just get off my coastline I don't know. His ragtag band of vigilantes has already ruined one attempt to destroy Meteor. It's as if he has a death wish; for himself and for the entire Planet, and he's wrapped it up in some pseudo-heroism. I tell you, Hojo has a lot to answer for.

Ah, there's a point. Where the Devil _is_ Hojo? He knew about these Weapons and he told me nothing. He knew that the Promised Land was a myth and he told me nothing. What else does he know? Perhaps I should have Reno conduct his famous questioning technique. I'll make a note. Also, I must have Reeve disposed of. His antics with that dancing... thing are getting annoying. Can you believe that I was paying the man good money – excellent money, even – to build some ridiculous cat and moogle, fortune-telling, megaphone-wielding, time-wasting, gambling little backstabbing robot, just so he could play at being a Freedom Fighter on _my_ time?

I thought more of myself, too. Father didn't. This is his chair I'm sitting in. Yes, the very one that he was sitting his abominable self in when the almighty Sephiroth grabbed him by his starched collar, slammed him against his desk and pinned him in that wonderfully bloody, dramatic position with the Masamune. The moment was caught on camera. I have the footage saved on my computer. Sephiroth – or Jenova's projection of Sephiroth, if you'd like to get technical – looks absolutely beautiful in it.

Really, Hojo is the true villain in this piece. I know Strife has done some awful things, but I honestly believe he can be forgiven. It's that murderous scientist we can trace everything back to. In fact, the second that Diamond Weapon is defeated, I'm sending _all_ the Turks to find him. He's probably in his laboratory, constructing some other godforsaken and cursed monstrosity.

Scarlet tells me that the Sister Ray is ready. Her voice is so very annoying; it's on a par with those dreadful suspenders she wears every day. I swear, she's more of a whore than my mother was. Fortunately, she's also more intelligent. I tell her to fire it, then, and I sound so indifferent that it shocks even me. I don't actually want the world to end. Things are just getting to me.

I watch through the 'scopes. Regrettably, AVALANCHE still appear to be alive. They are flying _my_ airship around Weapon in circles. The point of this escapes me, I'm afraid. Cid Highwind is just another person I require some form of vengeance against. Not only did that swaggering, swearing, second-rate pilot publicly humiliate me in front of the entire population of Rocket Town, but he lead a mutiny on my ship and stole it from me. He also broke Barret Wallace (how I completely despise that man!) and Tifa Lockheart out of my maximum-security jail and prevented what would have been their execution – broadcast live on television.

Basically, the man is wrecking my PR. Following a maniac like Strife, there's no limit to the damage he could cause. You say I don't match up to my father? Well, father never had to deal with insurrections and rampaging atrocities and Sephiroth, Sephiroth the wounded demi-God with a complex about his mother. For Heaven's sake, his mother was a lowlife, just like everybody's mother. We don't all go summoning doomsday over it... No, I can't stand women.

Finally, the Sister Ray fires. And oh, it's perfect. Straight through the heart of Diamond Weapon, and on to the barrier around the North Crater. Nothing stands up to the weaponry of Shin-Ra, and it peels back, it perishes, just as Sephiroth inevitably will. I am suddenly flooded with resolve and the ecstasy of power once more, and I get up to go and find Reno directly. It is time to strengthen my grip on the Planet. Things have gone far enough.

Something makes me turn back to the window. Hmm. It appears that Diamond Weapon launched its own attack before we shot it to high Hell. There are blinding beams of yellow-orange light speeding towards Midgar. Towards Shin-Ra headquarters. Towards the pinnacle of the building, and all its aspirations and character and hopes. Towards me, Rufus Shinra.

I'm about to die.

Do you know what I think about, in my last few seconds on this doomed, decaying rock? Would you guess money, or supremacy, or war or glory or legions or palaces... you'd be wrong. None of you knew me, and look at me now. For nothing. It was all as meaningless as father's war. It was all as pointless as Strife's existence. I don't think about my unfulfilled dreams, however. I think of my mother, and how I wish that she had been somebody else.


End file.
